Shopping Rules For Kate Moss Collection

As I was browsing Olde Topshop in search of something remarkable to wear this summer (bit naive on my side, have to agree), I stumbled upon this. And by THIS I mean nothing less than the official Kate Moss Collection Shopping Rules.

How fancy is that?

My favourite part of course is the one that tells you to go queue, then come back and then kind of take an u-turn: no, no actually shop online, that'll save you hassle. It'll probably save you money as well, because I don't know what monster of a server they'll need when Kate Moss for Topshop goes online - something Wikipedia-sized I bet.

And what's with the colour wristbands? To be perfectly honest this Kate Moss/rock festivals connection is doing me head in, and I would willfully slap the person that came up with this idea. I mean, a colour-coded wristband? With allocated time-slot? Do you actually feel treated like a valued customer if you can only come in at a specific time? Bullshit! Security and all, but this is just getting ridiculous.

However, theres light at the end of the tunnel: the last rule is the one I truly hope people will follow - don't purchase more that 5 items. Because we all know Kate's dress sense is nothing short of lovely but seriously, who wants to be surrounded by zillions of clones struggling to keep their belly in those hotpants?

Johhny Borrell Strikes Again

Earlier this week I promised to blog about Gwen Stefani looking shit but Johnny Borrell totally stole the limelight from her (it's not something he's infamiliar with by the way). So, ahem:

These two deserve each other, don't they? She's this nice cookie advert girl who suddenly decides she's cool, goth and smoking weed. He's this middle class muso who tried to look rough by constantly bringing up his past "cocaine habit" but then converted to Bono-ism and daylight preachery. Anyway, I'm not here to discuss their [inexistent] characters, so I'll just fug them for their looks and clothes.

So, Kirsten, your new found goth look is great. You're so white I could think you've spent last 5 years in Sunderland. You're a pretty twenty-something yet you've got granny's legs. And your desire to make your boobs look bigger is understandable but you could do with more support. And I'm glad I don't have a bigger picture cause I'm sure that this strange thing around your neck looks even worse when it's close.

Anyway, I could fug Ms. Dunst properly for her lack of imagination, this fussy dress and so many other things that are wrong with her but Mr. "Gentleman" Jonathan Borrell spared her blushes. Sadly, not by covering her with a big blanket but by wearing cowboy boots. With skinny trousers. Now, I for one don't mind skinnies on men, in fact I'm very much pro them - if you're skinny enough to pull them off anyway, so I won't get overexcited on that part. But cowboy boots? On a man? Who is not a cowboy? Give me a break!

And really, what's with this wife beater vest? How do you make it that low cut - it certainly isn't sold like that, is it? And with all that Luke Pritchard bashing, Johnny is taking far too many leaves out his book. He is in fact tearing it apart with such ferocity that I'm a bit scared to talk shit about him. I mean, he punched Pete Doherty! And armed (or should i say "footed"?) with those monstrous boots, he could probably kick me head in. Well, that's if he weren't so protective of his new found messiah role. Or his "ace new boots".

Verdict: like I said, you two deserve each other, and even more so you, Mr. Borrell deserve Luke "Harman" Pritchard as a rival and you, Ms. Dunst - this embarrassed smile. Tut tut tut.

The Hoodie Conquest Continues...

Sorry for this almighty gap between posts, I was taking my football fan commitments too seriously lately. And the pub going - chant singing - beer drinking triggered yet another fit of hoodie love from me. This time I've had quite an assault on Delia's Online Shop. I was actually really impressed when I saw Delia's website just today: the previous time I did - my wild guess is that it was about 6 years ago - it looked shite and stocked tent-like bland ugly t-shirts. These days it looks like a colourful emopire (it was a typo but it's pretty fucking accurate!) of sporty, not that imaginative, but FUN clothes: rainbows and dinosaures all the way!



Umm, yeah! It's hardly Donna Karan and it's not even Devandervar but FFS each of them is about 40 bucks which is 20 quid right now so could you resist? I know I couldn't! You've got to credit them for working not only on patterns and prints, but also on design! I love that button detail on the third one and you can't help but love the stripes inside the hood. The middle one looks pretty boring in a bad emo way (and it probably is), yet if you look closely those are no skulls (frankly, even Peaches Geldof is bored of them which means they are officially over even among the most ignorant) but delightful 'Happy Clouds', as the website calls them!



OK, these would be a bit trickier to pull off, but they're good as gold. The bright pink doesn't even look that annoying and colourful stripes won't do you any bad [this season anyway]. Anyway, hood+colour+cool details = love (or whatever those whippersnappers say nowadays, I'm feeling a bit old for this ;)

By the way, in the hole where am I am from, hoodies are going from strength to strength - I've seen old ladies wear them in the rain! Granted, theirs weren't pink but isn't it wonderful that one-time yob uniform is getting that widespread? Err, all right, no, not really :)

Where've I been?

This is just a quick note to let you know that I'm having a short (er, not so short, apparently) break but it's coming to an end, and I'm totally treating you to the mighty sports trend (again), Chloe, hoodies and Gwen Stefani looking shit (don't know if that one is a treat) any time soon.

Kisses,

Me.

Devandervar: The Next Big Thing?

There are so many sad things in our life. Deaths, illnesses, break-ups, broken hearts, cliches, divorces, depression, bullies, alcoholism, growing old, poverty. And that's not to mention James Blunt.

THIS, however, is as far from sad as it can be:

It's lively, colourful, vigorous, uplifting and just cool. Not only this, but it's a great patchwork hooded *tailored* sweatshirt from Denmark. It basically checks all points on the cool list, then chews it and spits it back out, that's how cool it is. Minus point though: as of now, they're only available in Denmark and in Project # 8 in New York. With the press they (oh, they're called Devandervar by the way) are getting - having been mentioned on style.com and Coolhunting - I don't think that'll last long though, so expect those heavenly hoodies to appear somewhere near you soon. They don't come too cheap though, starting with $120 (although considering that the mighty pound has hit a new high today, that might not be a problem soon). Anyway, I couldn't get through to their website cause my internet company hates me, but I scored this two photos from one dutch blog. I can't give any comments on this cause obviously, I don't know dutch and I wasn't bothered to translate it with on of them stupid programmes, so I'll just assume that Devandervar (how cool is this name?) is launching/has launched their womenswear collection which is great news, and also has gone beyond hoodies, which is not bad too.

They almost made me forget about James Blunt. Almost.

 

The Cat Befriends The Mouse (And Does Me 'ead In)

Well, well, well.

As I was going through celebrity news blogs today I stumbled across this:



And I've got soo many questions!

1. I thought Beth Ditto didn't rate Kate Moss. As far as I remember just a month or so ago she said that Kate's a bad role model weight- and looks-wise and also cannot be considered a person accosiated with music (this one is probably true). So the question is: does it not matter to Beth Ditto that she hangs out with people she doesn't like?

2. And does it not matter to Ms. Moss that Beth said all those not too nice things about her?

3. Just who is riding who's profile here? Is Kate trying to cool it up by walking alongside the much talked about Ditto? Or is Beth trying to get some cheap publicity? And more important, does she even need even more cheap publicity?

4. What the hell are they wearing??? Beth and the other big girl, where are your pants? You're not Kirsten Dunst for fuck's sake, so cover up. And I'm soo not keen on the visible control top. Just why did you do that? To show that you don't care? Well we fucking already know that! And don't get me started on the shoes! Kate is wearing these ugly noodle boots again. I might send her fifty quid sometime, I really want her to buy something nice and refreshing (perhaps even literally) instead. Beth's shoes look like they had heels previously, but they have fallen off for reasons I don't need to tell (oh, alright, it's her very much unheathy weight). The third girl went for something more steady but I can't quite understand what's going on with the top of the shoes: is this white border or what? I really hope that it's not her ankle, because that would mean that those monster control top tights are footless. AAARRRGGHH!

5) If Beth is so independent in thought why is she wearing a very much this season's look (minus the kilos)?

6) JUST WHY???

7) Who of you is going to pay for my mental treatment?

Luella Bartley Stole My Heart

Like a certain clever chap sings "we all want somebody to adore". Now Luella Bartley is not a "somebody" but she's certainly very much adored everywhere right now. And there definitely is a reason for this: her clothes are cute, wearable and rock-n-roll at the same time. No wonder she's everyones's favourite fashion designer of the moment!



As you already know, I am a fan of monochrome look, but this is really the way to perfecting it. Can she do no wrong? With these outfits she's definitely safe (not as in the boring safe).

However, she is also definitely not a one-trick pony. The looks she's got in for spring are as spectacular as those above (they are from SS 2007 and FW 2007/08) but a lot more colourful and refreshingly not in the nu-wave understanding of the term. And she added a bit of colour to the A/W collection as well (note the blazer on the last picture):



I mean, how perfect are the first two dresses - completely different shapes, colours and material, yet both so loveable, wearable and cute. The third outfit is very casual and if I had enough money to own it, I'd never ever take it off (yes, that "geek" label would be very appropriate). And those shoes! How I crave them!



I can't get myself to sleep properly since I first saw them back in autumn. I got myself a cheap jazz style replacement but they just can't heal the wound :)

Anyway, congrats to Luella on being the coolest designer around. And she's got the all-important musical connections (Pulp, Holly Golightly) so she knows where to draw inspiration from. I, for one, anticipate every her collection and will continue to do so as long as my black skinny jeans aren't too tight for me.

Clawmoney: Chav Chic or Genius?

Wierd thing are going on everywhere: someone bothers to vandalize one of the M for Madonna billboards in London; Manchester United rape Roma 7-1 ; I'm writing another article on colourful clothes.

The thing is, Madonna is that inoffensive nowadays (to anyone except devoted Christians of course) that I found it hard to even think of a person who would be interested in doing something to attract controversy to her (her PR team maybe?); Manchester United are doing extremely well but they weren't playing against Wigan (no offense!); and finally although I'm generally a happy chappy, I wear a lot of black. In fact, mostly black. And yet this is another article on shiny colourful stuff.

So anyway, I stumbled across this lovely website and although the first look almost made me cringe, on second thoughts maybe it falls into category "so bad it's (no, not good) fun but at least in a good way". Welcome, the almighty Clawmoney!

I'm not even commenting on this.





Fucking awesome innit.

The Mighty Sports Fashion Trend

However much I love watching telly whilst lying on the couch AND eating cake, the sports trend is one thing I am certainly not planning to miss out on. Don't get me wrong, I hate 95% of clothes associated with sports. When I think of a person who's style can be desribed as "sporty" two things spring to mind: 1)chavs 2) white socks + sandals. Or both. Now though I am not a big fan of "tracky bottoms tucked in socks", I absolutely adore this season's ready-to-wear offerings in sports department:

1. Feminine Sport



(L-R: Donna Karan, Cyntia Rowley, Vera Wang)

I am so impressed with what Vera Wang had done here! Firstly, because I mostly know her for her red carpet gowns (yawn) and secondly because she managed to put a zip-up cardigan on top of a very light see-through dress and not only get away with it, but also make it look wearable and stylish and not "I-was-all-dressed-up-but-it-was-so-cold-on-the-street-that-I-had-to-lend-my-boyfriend's-cardie-which-resulted-in-me-looking-like-a-chav-queen", which non of us hopefully is going for.

Donna Karan's jacket is really impressive too and it gets double points for mixing the mod silhouette and a large hip hoodie.

2. Ironic Chav



(L-R: Frankie Morello, Dsquared, Dries van Noten)

Although "ironic chav" is probably the biggest oxymoron on earth, this look is actually a real winner. I could do with tighter pants, but you gotta love these tops. My favorite here is Dries van Noten's creation. The concept here is 100% chav - headband? Check! A baggy top? Check! A colourful neither-nere-nor-there top? Fucking check! Baggy trousers? Yes, please. Oh, if only those were classic trainers, not some cutie boots on her feet!

3) Edgy/Futuristic Sport



(L-R: MaxMara, Nicolas Andreas Taralis, Celine)

A-ha! This is where Sienna Miller found inspiration for her furry top+shorts outfit! Anyway, the future's looking good for us: it's all small shorts, shiny coats and wrap-over tulip skirts.

Just don't expext me to hit the gym anytime soon - I still have a box of chocolates to finish.


I wrote about sports garments before - check here for trainers and here for shorts :)

Anteprima: A Refreshing Spring Look

Everyone knows that colour is big this season (except for The Horrors, whom I'm sooo featuring anytime soon), we're seeing yellow here, green there and blue is fucking everywhere. And although I'm all for diversity, individuality and positive stuff, my eyes need a rest. So when I stumbled across a photo of one of the Anteprima outfits for Spring/Summer 07 I was almost speechless. Not only was it stylish, cool and edgy but also monochrome! This might not be that rare a thing but we've seen so many labels jumping on the colour bandwagon recently, that I've started doubting that the less famous fashion houses would dare not to oblige.

I'll stop the talking now:



I'd sooo wear any of these ensembles! They even got me THAT blind that I don't consider this wierd gauze skirt something that would only look in it's place on Courtney Love or Paris Hilton. And the swimsuit is just heavenly!



I mean, hello? Sport jackets, satin shorts, romantic blouses - isn't it everything a girl could ask for? It's just great how they throw the 20's, the 80's and the oo's in and get a perfect mix for 2007. And that's without using colour. How come they're not big?

Even their accessories are delicious:



I would kill for those jazz shoes! And their double bags are great (they also have them in blue).

Basically, everything Anteprima does is quite minimalistic but you just can't deny their simple, almost effortless approach to very wearable modern fashion.

We'll definitely go back to colour tomorrow :)

Mango Employ Decent Designers

What wouldn't you do for money? I, personally, could even wear Britney's clothes from the bald era (or no, actually it wasn't an era, but you wouldn't call it patch either - unless you intended a pun, of course, which I didn't). Hell, I'd even go bald myself - although I'd want more money than a wig's price for that, that's for sure.

Anyway, back on topic. It seems that money is important not only to me but also to those who are in charge of Mango's financial perfomance. I never quite understood why Mango even opened a store in Regent Street (let alone all their other shops in Britain): they never had Next's pricetags or Topshop's design, so why bother really? Fortunately for us, they have apparantely decided to spice up their clothes and cut out on bland office clobber and endless underwear tops - so much so that when I first saw their spring collection appear on their website I spent 2 hours browsing it despite having the most important exam of my life due next day. I passed with flying colours and it seems that Mango are trying (not without success) to do the same (now that's an intended attempt of a pun. Colour, do you see? And their collection is colourful! Oh.) So I am really glad to present my favourite pieces from both their Spring and Summer collections.



Alright, I know this is hardly news in the world of fashion but you gotta praise them for their progress. These dresses have bold colours! Interesting details! Not-that-ordinary design! And they're colour-coordinated too! You could so do layering with them! In my book, they deserve at least a 7 out of ten, and that's a serious improvement for Mango.



This, I understand, is Mango's attempt at new-rave colours. And that's another approval from me. Yes, they're still pretty cowardly in the design stakes, but I still feel happy that it's not something brown/gray, tight and low-cut.



Though their new trousers are still not my cup of tea, their other bottoms are pretty impressive - well that's of course only if you manage to get through an enormous rack of black/gray/brown classic shorts which seem to only wary in sizes and length. The last ones here are of course not for the self-concious of us but I know quite a few people who could work 'em (hopefully, myself included). And the skirt is just PERFECT (it's also getting my "best things evah" tag).

But some things seem to never change so I included the most awful piece of clothing I've seen probably in a month in the next line of photos. Could you spot that one?



100% kisses and love? If I ever met anyone wearing this I'd prefer to give her 100% scratches and bruises. What? She attacked my eyes first!

Kate Moss for Topshop

A bit late, perhaps, but here's my review of Kate Moss' collection for Topshop. First, like everyone else has already noticed it is indeed good. Many feared it would come out looking all dated, filled with waistcoats and skinny jeans. It seems though, that miss Moss has more tricks up her shortened sleeves: the collection includes very pretty pinstripe suits, the perfect hippy-esque dress (NOT BOHO!) and, of course a couple of disasters, like that illness-striken tablecloth which everybody else seems to adore.

Let's start with what Kate wears most often: oh yes, I AM talking about skinny jeans and waistcoats. And simple tops:



From my point of view, she's done really well in this department. I've not seen her wearing red jeans ever but hey, Madonna, too, promised to base her collection on her own wardrobe and we only got bland dresses and no shiny leotards. The jeans are quite simple and in trademark 'drainpipe' fit, whereas trousers are loose but nonetheless really stylish.

And look how great this two-piece is! The shoes are spoiling it for me, though - why go for soldier's boots when you could do with mid-heels or Converse? Some things really need basic approach:



There are loads of dresses in the collection and it's a pleasure for me to list some of them, particularly these (the third one - as seen on the cover of Vogue):



... and also these (to a lesser extent)



And of course there's this everybody's favourite:

Why, why on earth would you possibly like it? It's shapeless, the material looks ill (or are these goosebumps?), it's got an uneven hem and hell, it makes even Irina look bad! It means that it's officially worse than a potato sack! And can you imagine anyone less perfect that her (read: ANYONE) wearing it? It's a train crash waiting to happen! I mean, the guys wo did the promotional pics probably know loads of things about make-up, light, clever posing etc. Nevertheless, the dress looks awful. And it can only mean one thing: it really is bad, period.

Anyway, this rant isn't even about Kate Moss' designing skills, it's more about the blogosphere which is just going crazy about this piece of crap and already preparing to pay the alleged 300 quid for it. DON'T. DO. IT.

Anyway, well done Kate Moss, well done Katie England (if she really ended up helping the original Kate), well done you for reading this, I think we all can have a rest now.

Johhny Borrell Is A Fame (And Fashion) Whore (Aren't We All? (Wow, that's a long headline!))

Well well well, looks like Johnny Borrell has finally realised that after a string of atrocious singles ("America"? Your having a laugh!) and an horrible second album he needs something new to stay in the spotlight. His evil plan included: 1) pick up a famous lass - check! 2) speak about your personal problems involving cocaine and Pete Doherty (someone tell him it's so 2005) - check! 3) get his white pants recognised all over the world (don't even know why I used the word "pants" in it's american sense, just felt the urge) - FUCKING CHECK! The evil plan is completed, now he's heading for world domination. Be scared, be very scared:

Well, he doesn't look all that bad here to be honest although he's once again one of those people that make my favourite tag "top marks for not trying" pretty useless. That expression! I can so imagine him practising it before a mirror. Thank God he didn't go for the pout! And I bet he had some photoshop on his thighs - they look very womanly! Natalia, however, is lovely as always and frankly she's had more consistency over the past years compared to Johnny even if she were pregnant some of the time.

And what's this white thing on his shoulder? Looks like a towel to me! Are they suggesting he's working out? He looks a bit pigeon-chested to me and judging by his ribs he could be slammed for promoting "manorexia" any time soon.

Anyway, the chap didn't need much styling, he just came over in what he's been wearing for two years straight (and counting). Is Vogue starting to go behind or what? The world is bored of him already, or if we look at it from "The Sun"s perspective "he's lost his Golden Touch" and he "fails to Keep The Right Profile". Like the NME rather hilariously noted last week "Hasta La Vista Credibility!"

I don't mind those white jeans by the way, I just have to point out that he's not written a decent tune* since donning them for the first time - perhaps they're harming his bloodstream?

For those of you shocked to see a man on Vogue's cover, here's a blast from the past:

You see, they don't style men at all. The just wear what they normally wear, act the way they normally act (note that twattish look on Robbie Williams' face) - except perhaps Elton John who was that close to a woman's pants on a WOMAN (outrageous!) for the first time!

* that's from a person who has Razorlight as her second favourite band according to last.fm - all thanks to the heavenly "Up All Night".

Does Cory Kennedy Look Better After A Wash?

Yo bitches!

People who know me well would tell you that I love anything qrotesque, OTT and the like especially when it gets to the point that it's so bad it's hysterical (in a good way).

Without any further due, meet Cory Kennedy, who tried to out-do herself in the droopy-sleepy eyes game at a recent photoshoot. She succeded, and now we've got plenty of pics to laugh at.



Look, guys, we understand, it's hip, it's cool, it's rock-n-roll. Courtney Love would've been proud of that eyeshadow (or shall we call it under-eye shadow, or perhaps eyebag shadow?). In the first picture she even manages to look like a football fan gone wrong. But really she's like 13 or something (I know she's not). I mean, if she was a cross-eyed teenager with a severe drinking problem, I'd totally feel for her. This way, though, I feel no compassion.

A laughed my way through the editorial till I saw this... after that I laughed even harder:



1) do you see? under that Richie Edwards-wannabe make-up (bet she doesn't know who he was) and Kurt Kobain-style (this one I'm sure she's seen on TV) clothes, she looks like a very average (only slightly prettier and somewhat slimmer) american girl. Which she, like, doesn't want to be, like, at all!

2) I can imagine her choosing pics for the magazine: "Oh, I look so cool here, that one's in. And you almost can't see my pupils on this one, so that's in too. OMG I look so tired, no one will ever guess that I sleep a very healthy 9 hours everyday. With my teddybear). Oh, and look, my hair looks like I've been dragged through a heap of rubbish. I am so ace! Oh wait, but what's that? I look kind of... normal??? No, that'll kill my credibility. I am the queen of trash, no one must know that I can actually look pretty!! Scratch that! Throw it away! Burn it! Actually I'll do it myself. Oh, can't bear looking at it. Oh, do whatever you like, just don't make me look at it. Put it away! For God's sake, put it on one of them pages, just don't show it to me. Well, this very minute"

3) Surely it wasn't one and the same make-up artist who did her in the first two pictures and then in the last one?

That's it for today! Off to watch the footy btw, without the stripes though!

PS Remember I introduced new tag "top marks for not trying" a couple of days ago? Well, with style icons like this I'll never get to use it :(

Daily Editorial: Colour Helps Sell Crap

As a person who wears a lot of black I'm getting polka dots in my eyes every time I see any new collection for this season. Fortunately for me and other monochrome lovers many a webdesigner are using the concept of colour(s) very cleverly indeed - not only my eyes don't hurt anymore but I'm suddenly feeling the urge to buy something I woudn't normally go for!

Take the American Apparel and their "Living In Colour" feature:



The burgundy dress? A total potato sack! Yet I almost like it in this picture. I know, in real life, cosidering my very average height this would make me look 2 sizes heavier and 3 inches shorter, and what's more important, in real life I'd never even look twice at this piece of cloth. But put against red stuff, and what's more important - contrasting colours of yellow and blue, it looks wearable. Same thing goes for blue pants/shorts and purple leggins. Fashion disasters? Oh yes! Would I wear them? No, wouldn't be seen dead. But do I like them in this picture? Actually, I do.

So now Topshop does this trick too:



When I first saw it, my initial reaction was: "OMG, which one should I pick?" Upon looking closely though a very clear answer sprang to mind: "NONE!" I mean, they're nice but most are a bit mumsy and too lazy for my liking. The only one I'm undecided about is the £50 one (in green and blue here) but I bet it'll be on every scenester/Kate Moss wannabe this spring. It's not the point though. The point is that clever positioning and colour usage may actually damage the brain of us customers and make us buy or at least consider things we'll never like and never wear. I know I can handle it because I'm broke. But can you?

Video Of The Moment

This is so random but the Arctic Monkeys' latest video is just so great and I'm sooo learning this dance :)



The song is not that bad either. In fact it's so good I'm naming two new categories in its honour: "Top marks for not trying" and "See you later innovator" (Henry Holland, watch your back!)

Daily Editorial: Oh Manchester Is Wonderful!

Hello, chaps!

Sorry for the lack of posts, I was in the middle of enjoying a very enjoyable weekend this saturday so I decided to have a rest. Worst thing though, is I'm still feeling quite lazy. This is why I've not done any proper research on any decent topic yet again although I really like the process, and I'm just going to tell you how wonderful the city that is Manchester, erm, is!

I could base this opinion on so many things really because the city is so diverse and colourful in many ways and it turns out, in fashion too! They've got the rock-n-roll thing going full on, and as for the nu-rave craze... well, after all there wouldn't be any nu-rave without the original rave and I don't really need o tell you about a certain place named Hacienda.

So, anyway, what the rest of the world is still catching up on, Manchester had done waaaaay before. So no more words - let the pictures do the talking.





These two are a bit random, but I looove both blazers so I decided to include them



You just can't resist wearing a t-shirt like this. And the girl must be really something special cause she has this typical emoish/misshapes-ish haircut and I still don't find her annoying at all!

I saved the best for the last though:



Wee-hee! So Manchester isn't really about being mardy and feeling miserable in the rain. It also is about being 1)cool 2)colorful 3)different. London is basically the same but sadly without the "different" tag.

Cheers and until next time!

Pics via Manchester Looks (1, 3-8) and Hoy Fashion (2).